My mission: lose 150 lbs (not a typo)
The Plan: Jenny Craig, walking, and a serious lifestyle change
How did it get this way?:
I've been thinking a lot about why I eat the way I do. Some of it is from laziness. Some of it is from depression. And some of it, I attribute to the biggest message I got about food as I was growing up:
YOU HAVE TO FINISH EVERYTHING ON YOUR PLATE!
I have vivid memories of my aunt making us sit at the dinner table and telling us to finish everything or else we could not get up. To this day, it is difficult for me to leave a plate with any food on it. Jenny Craig has undone some of this, but not all.
Today, I eat when I am depressed. I eat when I want to "treat" myself (read: am depressed). I eat to make me feel better (read: am depressed). I eat because the food is there. Seriously, this is NOT a good plan.
The Big Picture:
For now, I am working on a new mantra. Before my twins were born, it was "Nothing will taste as good as a baby will feel in my arms." Now, I need something to motivate me now that I have my babies.
One of my friends suggested these to me a while ago and I lost sight of them. I think it is very insightful and I think it may be what I am looking for:
1. When the babies look back at pictures of life as a new family, I want them to see the glow I feel / have with them now (before they totally wear me out). I really think its hard to see that with all this weight hanging around.
2. LOOOOOOONG term, I want to be the kind of Grandparent who
- is actually alive
- can get down on the floor and play
- is healthy and spirited, so that I can steal the grandbabies for a weekend without worry. I know it seems silly to think of that now, but really to do this, its got to be a lifelong change in mentality
3. I want my husband to be attracted to me. I know he doesn't care what weight I am. I know that. But I would like to inspire a little lust once in a while. 4. I want to look as I feel, which is young and joyful and powerful. 5. I want to be a role model for my kids. A picture of health, self discipline, respect, achievement, and fun. All things that I have to be healthy to exemplify. All of these are good reasons for wanting to be thinner. I think I will write them out on a post card and read them the next time I reach for chocolate.
2 comments:
You can do this! You are one of the strongest people I have the pleasure of knowing... and loving. If you ever need any words of encouragement or someone to talk you out of the chocolate, you know where to find me. Rock it, mama!
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
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